A while ago I started realizing that most people usually see acceptance of an undesired situation, especially when it is a personal one, as “giving in”, capitulating, losing … i.e. as a negative thing.
I must admit that, not even a year ago, I looked at it that same way. But not anymore. I learned that refusing to accept a situation you do not like, prevents you from moving forward in your life! You just get stuck, you get frustrated and you get nowhere!
When something unpleasant happened to you, regardless of whether you could have prevented it or not, it is already done! Nothing you can do about that fact. You cannot stop it anymore from happening. You may wish it never happened, you may ponder on what you could have done to avoid the situation but that is wasted energy. It will keep you stuck in that situation because you’re looking in the wrong direction, you should not look backwards but forward, so you can do something to get to another, desired situation.
When you do not accept, then that automatically implies you refuse the actual existence of a situation. It is like running head-first into a wall that stands in your path, over-and-over again. The wall originally shouldn’t have been there, but when you refuse to accept that set-back, the road, your path, ends at the wall. You’ll hurt yourself, you’ll frustrate yourself, but the wall will remain where it is, and you will never ever reach the point where you wanted to go to in the first place. As soon as you accept the wall’s presence, you can find your way around it.
Accepting does not imply you simply have to live with it, but it puts you in a state of mind that you can deal with it. This applies to all situations, be it privately, professionally, physically, emotionally. Accept it, embrace it as a learning experience, an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone and achieve something you may never have dreamed of even trying!
Do not blame anyone or anything, do not feel unlucky, but act, take matters in your own hands. When I lost my last job because the company I worked for went into bankruptcy, who should I have blamed? Economy? My direct manager? The CEO? Myself? Modern Society?
When my wonderful son was diagnosed with having some Autism characteristics, requiring him to move to a specialized school, who should I have blamed? Him? My wife? The schooling system? The Universe? Nature?
If I would have chosen to blame at least one of the above, would that have changed my situation? Not at all! So, when losing my job, I accepted that fact, took a step back, assessed the situation, looking for the next step to be taken. Regarding my son, my wife and I accepted the fact, took a step back, assessed the situation and looked for the best possible solution for our kid.
Results of the 2 above examples? I am a happy chappy now. My son performs much better at school and displays a whole new level of self-confidence on who he is as an individual.
He and I have discovered our self-worth! Simply by accepting the little set-backs and making decisions based on what I wanted, not on what I did not want.